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  • Art & Soul
  • Dea(r)th of a blog
  • The blog languishes...
  • Hello, again.
  • Bill here, giving you the latest...
  • Bill Posting as Janice temporarily...
  • Bilge Forever!
  • The great anti-internet experiment
  • Girls are not for sale!
  • Disembodied voices command you to watch!

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Art & Soul

Here's an interview with me, on the blog of an old high school drama club cohort, Denise Vasquez:

Art & Soul

A quick excerpt:

Q:  What challenges do you face as a writer when writing your own book?

A:  The biggest challenge is getting over perfectionism. First drafts are ugly and stupid and boring and weird, and you have to write them anyway. You can't get to the second draft without going through the first. So you have to stop judging whether your project is any "good" until you're a good 100 pages into it. And then, when you realize it isn't very good, you have to muster the desire to keep going and make it better, rather than just quit and go watch TV.

Oct 19, 2009 at 10:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Dea(r)th of a blog

When I started this blog in 2005, I had a few goals. I don’t know whether I was fully aware of all of them at the time, but in retrospect, I think my goals were:

1. To write for an audience on a regular basis

2. To share my deepest feelings, in the hopes that writing about them might bring me clarity, and others comfort

3. To share my opinions on current events, feminism, and pop culture

4. To build an audience for my work

5. To brag about being a volunteer

6. To passive-aggressively let people know what I was really thinking, without having to own it in person

7. To get attention, feel popular, and feel less alone

I was mostly successful in achieving these goals.

1. The exercise of writing something on a near-daily basis that would be published immediately was very instructive. It showed me that you don’t have to be inspired to write (though that certainly helps); that sometimes just muscling through and forcing yourself to produce something actually works. There were many nights that I sat at my desk for hours, going back and forth between the control panel for my blog and a game of online su doku, trying to figure out what the hell I was going to say that day; I remember the frustration of those nights, but I can also see the results – pieces that I wouldn’t have written if I didn’t force myself. For people who are trying to develop better work habits, I recommend the exercise of blogging. But my work habits are pretty well set. They could always get better, but I don’t think that blogging regularly is something I need to do for exercise anymore. I still write on a near-daily basis. I just don’t publish the results.

2. I still have the urge to write about my feelings in the hopes of achieving clarity and giving comfort. This is my biggest struggle in the whole “to blog or not to blog” internal debate. I’ve been writing autobiographically for years; I’ve based a career on it; I teach classes in it. I believe strongly in the value of memoir, for both the writer and the reader. I still write about my feelings almost every day; it keeps me as sane as I can currently claim to be, which is saner than I have ever been in my life. But sharing that writing? That’s different. It’s not that I don’t want to share it – trust me, every time something significant happens in my life, especially if it’s something difficult or unpleasant, it’s hard not to blab about it publicly, whether here or on Facebook. But I’ve learned a lot – we’ve all learned a lot, as a society – about the problems and penalties that come with discussing personal information online. I am gun-shy about invading my own privacy to the extent that I used to; I am even more gun-shy about invading the privacy of those close to me.

I’m currently working on a number of different projects – some based in fact, others more fictional. I’m hoping that the feelings expressed and described in these works will bring other people comfort, if and when these works are finished and published. In the meantime, I miss the catharsis of blogging in the heat of the moment; I miss hearing the immediate feedback from people who responded with candor and support. It’s just not advisable to be as honest and open online as I once was. I’ll have to save it for the books.

3. Nobody really needs to hear my opinion on current events, feminism, or pop culture, especially when other writers are able to respond faster and with greater depth. I burned out on writing about current events and feminism after ten years of writing for BUST, and if you want to know what kind of pop culture I’m currently enjoying, I invite you to watch the Bilge show. (Warning: Bilge show is not safe for work, or for life, or for maintaining your current number of brain cells. Neither is most of the pop culture I enjoy.)

4. I have built an audience for my work. And while blogging might help to grow that audience, and deepen our daily connection, I’m not going to be one of those people who blogs in order to “build their brand.” That, to me, is a cynical misuse of readers’ time and attention. Blog because you want to write, because you feel you need to communicate, but not because you want eyeballs – that’s insincere.

5. Hey, I don’t know if you guys were aware of this, but over the past four or five years, I have volunteered my time to various non-profit organizations. These organizations include the shelter where I stayed for two months as a teenager, the presidential-award-winning writing program Girls Write Now, and GEMS, which helps young women who have been victims of commercial sexual exploitation. Sometimes volunteering has been personally rewarding to me; other times, it has been a giant fucking pain in the ass and I’ve done it anyway. I can haz halo?

6. Ugh. It’s been a number of years since I used my blog to take passive-aggressive shots at conveniently unnamed people (“Oh, I wasn’t talking about you…”), but I can still work up a healthy cringe recalling those times. When I used my Twitter account one day this summer to swipe anonymously at two women I know, I realized it was time to quit Twitter. I am not proud of having used my blog to be hurtful to other people, even if those other people were American Idol contestants, or otherwise totally asking for it. Oh, I’m not talking about you…

7. I have attention. I feel popular. I feel less alone. And anytime I don’t, there’s Facebook. I might just go check it right now. Ahhh, comments on my most recent status update!

So there, for the one millionth time, is a blog post about why I don’t blog much anymore.  Was goal number eight to be endlessly redundant? If so, then CHECK. And now, it’s time get down to writing…

Oct 06, 2009 at 01:27 PM in Blargh. | Permalink | Comments (5)

The blog languishes...

But the Bilge goes on. This week's:

The Bilge Show Episode 24 - watch more funny videos

And last week's:

The Bilge Show Episode 23 - watch more funny videos

Meanwhile, life behind the screen continues to be baffling, humbling, challenging, and weird; my desire to write about it remains low. But I'm grateful for the tremendous support of the wonderful people who read my stuff, as sporadic as that stuff may be these days. Thanks.

Sep 11, 2009 at 10:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)

Hello, again.

Friends, thanks for bearing with me during my two months offline -- they were a very happy and productive two months, and I'm looking forward to writing a longer post detailing the offline experiment soon. I hesitate to say that I'm "back," as I'm hoping not to slip right back into my old internet habits, but I'm certainly here, and I very much appreciate the supportive emails and comments I received in my absence. 

In lieu of a longer post, here's the latest episode of Bilge:

The Bilge Show Episode 22 - watch more funny videos

I know. Now you wish I'd go away again.

Aug 22, 2009 at 10:52 AM in Blargh. | Permalink | Comments (2)

Bill here, giving you the latest...

The Bilge Show Episode 20 - watch more funny videos

The Bilge Show Episode 19 - watch more funny videos

Janice's impending doom... er, return, is still scheduled for the 19th of this month, but I'm here to deliver the next two episodes of THE BILGE SHOW for your viewing pleasure. We like reaching a nice round number. It makes us feel like all that money spent on college educations was somehow worth all the fraud and embezzlement it took to earn.

Enjoy!

--Bill Scurry

Aug 09, 2009 at 10:45 PM in Blather | Permalink | Comments (0)

Bill Posting as Janice temporarily...

The Bilge Show Episode 18 - watch more funny videos

The Bilge Show Episode 17 - watch more funny videos

The Bilge Show Episode 16 - watch more funny videos

Hey folks, just doing a drive-by wherein I lay down the last few episodes of "The Bilge Show" for everyone's viewing amusement. Janice is still off-line, so don't nobody get excited. She'll eventually get back to your e-mails after her sabbatical ends.

--Bill Scurry

Jul 23, 2009 at 11:21 PM in Blather | Permalink | Comments (2)

Bilge Forever!

The Bilge Show Episode 15 - watch more funny videos

ZOMG, it's a rom com! (Nom nom nom.) How not avant garde at all. This week on the Bilge show: Every movie every made rolled into one hackneyed preview, plus! MORE Daisy of Love, MORE Bachelorette, and MORE of Bill and Janice fighting about nothing. Our last show until Friday, July 10, and remember, Janice is dead to the internet through August 19 (hence the fancy third person). But "she's" still available to you in proxy by clicking the above, and watching it over and over again, until you realize how stupid the show is, and how little worth your time it is to view it repeatedly. Please enjoy!

Jun 19, 2009 at 12:25 AM in Blather | Permalink | Comments (1)

The great anti-internet experiment

So I’m really going through with it, as terrifying at it is – I’m going offline for two months as of tomorrow, and will be offline through August 19. I’m doing this for a number of reasons:

I’ve been a little overwhelmed with the volume and nature of some of the correspondence I receive – though I am very grateful for every email and comment I get, I find that I can’t always respond in a timely fashion, and the guilt and frustration of that gets to me;

I want to rewire my brain to slow down and stop taking in so much useless information;

I’ve been using the internet to make myself unhappy, and I want to break that habit;

I’m sort of losing the desire to communicate publicly, and that’s death for a writer.

(Also, I kind of want to see if I can do it, or if I crack and start bingeing on TWoP recaps of the Bachelorette by Monday.)

So I won’t be answering email, checking Facebook or Twitter, or checking or posting to this blog (or anybody else’s blog) for the next two months – I’ll be disabling my internet browser to make sure this actually happens. I’ll be reading the hard copy of the Times we subscribe to; if I need to know what the weather’s going to be, I’ll turn on NY1. I look forward to learning nothing new in the next two months about the cast of the Twilight movies, or this Speidi person people keep writing about.

Bill will be posting new episodes of the Bilge show, though we will be taking a two-week hiatus from the show – new episodes resume on Friday, July 10. And I will be reading at KGB bar on Thursday, July 16 for the Drunken! Careening! Writers! series (7pm, 85 East 4th Street, free) – I hope you’ll miss me so much by then that you’ll be inspired to come see me in person.

This may be a stupid idea; this may be career suicide; this may not even work. But whatever happens, I feel certain that I’ll learn something from it. I look forward to sharing that with you when I find out what it is. In the meantime, I’ll miss you, and hope you’ll have a great summer.

Thanks for being the best readers a writer could possible hope for. See you in August.

Jun 18, 2009 at 12:05 PM in Blargh. | Permalink | Comments (9)

Girls are not for sale!


Visit The Council of Daughters

I am so incredibly happy and excited to announce a new campaign to raise awareness about child sexual exploitation in the US: Girls Are Not For Sale. Featuring artists like Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, and Sinead O'Connor, the campaign seeks to enlighten and activate people to help combat the sexual exploitation of girls -- find out more about how you can participate by clicking the link above to join the Council of Daughters. I'm a member, and I couldn't be prouder. I hope you'll join me in announcing to the world that girls should be celebrated, not sold!

Jun 15, 2009 at 03:34 PM in Feminist Much? | Permalink | Comments (0)

Disembodied voices command you to watch!

The Bilge Show Episode 14 - watch more funny videos

It's Friday, so it must be the day before Saturday. And also the Bilge show! Featuring the mysterious effects of living over an Indian burial ground, an analysis of psycholinguistic trends among American twentysomethings, and a laugh track gone haywire. Only one more week before our summer hiatus, so stock up on Bilge today!

Jun 12, 2009 at 10:17 AM in Blather | Permalink | Comments (0)

»

Watch the trailer:


Have You Found Her from Milk Products on Vimeo.

Available now!

Girlbomb

Other Writings

  • Girl Meets Toy (from Nerve.com)
  • Magic Nail (from Nextbook.org)
  • Shelter for Christmas (from Nextbook.org)
  • The Creepist (from Nerve.com)
  • Twins (on RandomHouse.com)
  • Volunteer Envy (an Amazon short)
  • What Moments Divine (from Nextbook.org)